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五招教你清除爱情“绊脚石” 简介:   天天学英语编者按:每个人都向往永恒的爱情。而事实上,日常生活中有许许多多的"绊脚石"正在悄然无声地着恋人们的爱情。五招教你清除爱情“绊脚石”每个人都…
五招教你清除爱情“绊脚石”           
五招教你清除爱情“绊脚石”
作者:ttxyy.com 文章来源:轻松英语 点击数: 更新时间:2011-11-24 1:37:03

天天学英语编者按:每个人都向往永恒的爱情。而事实上,日常生活中有许许多多的"绊脚石"正在悄然无声地着恋人们的爱情。
五招教你清除爱情“绊脚石”
每个人都向往永恒的爱情。而事实上,日常生活中有许许多多的"绊脚石"正在悄然无声地着恋人们的爱情。认识到“绊脚石”(wrecker)后,又能哪些措施呢?
Relationships are changing faster than ever before? and so are the triggers for break-ups, says counsellor Andrew Marshall. Here is the authoritative guide to what's going up and what's going down in the argument charts and how to stop your relationship being derailed:英国《每日邮报》顾问Andrew Marshall问道:“爱情的保质期比以前更短了么?人们分手的频率更快了么?”阅读下文,专家将为你解析爱情变量表中的上升和下降趋势,教你如何阻止爱情变质。


One: Low Expectations (GOING UP)1. 降低期望值(上升趋势)
We expect relationships to fail. The "all men are bastards" mind set and "all women are bunny boilers" mentality has spread from being a joke with our mates into a self-fulfilling prophecy. We wait for our new boyfriend or girlfriend to trip up and then zoom in on their mistakes.http://www.ttxyy.com 天天学英语网“期望”爱情失败。“男人没好东西”和“女人都神经错乱”的想法从好友间的玩笑变成了自我应验的预言。等着新男友/女友犯错误,然后再将错误放大。
Solve it: Today we are less willing to tolerate anything that is not 100 per cent perfect. Yet if we all hung in longer and believed in ourselves more, we would address the underlying issues and reap the rewards of a truly intimate and satisfying relationship.解决方法:如今,人们完美事物的容忍度大不如前。能秉持不懈的相信,或许,能解决潜在问题,更能收获一份亲密、美好的爱情。
Two: Work/Life Balance (GOING UP)2. 平衡工作与生活(上升趋势)
Today we are working longer hours, doing more shift work, commuting further and therefore spending less time together than twenty years ago. When we're tired, communication is cut down to the bare essentials ('What time will you be back?').对比20年前,现在的工作更长,倒班更频繁,通勤距离更远。,两人相处的也就更少了。累了的时候,两人间的沟通就只剩下的“你时候回来”。
Solve it: Invest in your relationship by setting aside 'sacred time' that belongs to just the two of you. For example: make Thursday night your date night - even if you can't go out, spend the time talking, listening to music. Many couples in therapy find they benefit most from the concentrated, quality time they spend together, rather than the counselling.解决方法:二人世界的感情投资,例如:把每周四晚定为约会--即使外出,也可以一起聊聊天、听听音乐。寻求情感问题解决之道的情侣的二人相处黄金比心理辅导更
Three: The Internet (NEW ENTRY)3. 互联网(新增条目)
The arguments are not just how much time is spent on the Internet - for work or pleasure - but about starting deep 'friendships' in cyberspace and viewing pornography. Research among 1,500 adults found that 46 per cent believed emails, texting and chat rooms had led to a big rise in infidelity; 30 per cent had used electronic communication to flirt, or to sustain an affair; 22 per cent of them had done it every day and 62 per cent had done it once a week.http://www.ttxyy.com 天天学英语网争论的关键不在于花多长上网--工作娱乐--而是网恋和浏览色情内容。一项1500名成人的调查显示,46%调查者邮件、短消息和聊天室婚外情愈发频繁;30%的调查者曾电子通讯手段调情、维持的风流韵事;22%的调查者每天都上网聊天,62%的调查者平均每周一次。
Solve it: These problems need to be nipped in the bud. Long hours on the computer at home are a signal that something is wrong. Don't ignore your instincts. Ask your partner why they need to spend so much time consuming 'virtual' life. They could be unhappy with your relationship together and the time on the computer is really a cry for help.解决方法:问题需要防患于未然。在家里,长坐在电脑前就预示着某些事情开始不对劲了。不要忽略你的直觉。问问你的另一半为要在虚拟世界里浪费那么多对你们两人的关系不太满意,而坐在电脑前上是在寻求帮助。
So what kinds of Internet friendships are acceptable? Forums with a special interest - like Startrek or dog training - are fairly harmless but be wary of friendships made on general chat sites.那么,哪些网络友谊是可以的呢?聚集了特定兴趣爱好者的论坛--例如星际迷航、训狗--通常不会爱情危机,但要警惕那些聊天网站的友谊关系。Whatever your viewpoint, it is important to really listen to what your partner has to say. Unless you both truly understand each other's opinions, you will not be able to find a working compromise.http://www.ttxyy.com 天天学英语网不管你的观点是,最的是要倾听另一半的想法。除非你们两人真正彼此的想法,否则都找到真正的妥协方法。
Four: Sex (GOING DOWN)4. 性(下降趋势)
Fewer couples go to counselling today to complain about their love life. However, many couples are simply too tired to enjoy sex and some can't even find the energy to worry about it. When sex is a major issue, the most common complaint is that one partner has 'gone off it' - leaving the other bewildered and angry.现如今,性生活而去心理咨询的情侣少之又少。情侣只太累而无法享受性爱,甚至没精力担心问题。当性爱变成大问题时,最常听到的抱怨睡去,而却很困惑、生气。http://www.ttxyy.com 天天学英语网
Solve it: Don't fall into the 'all or nothing' trap of either intercourse or a cold shoulder. Keep physically intimate - even when you're too tired - by kissing, stroking and cuddling. This is pleasurable in its own right, not just as foreplay.解决方法:不要陷入"全或无"的陷阱:要么做爱,要么冷淡对待。要身体上的亲密--即使你真的很累--可以亲吻、爱抚、拥抱。动作本身也很令人愉悦,而仅只是性爱的前戏。
Five: Space (GOING DOWN)5. 私人空间(下降趋势)http://www.ttxyy.com 天天学英语网
Traditionally it's been men who've wanted time to themselves, but today women burdened by work and kids are asking for 'me' time too. However it is much less divisive than before as this generation of fathers (under 40) are much more involved with their children.以前,总是男人们声称需要私人。现如今,身负工作、照看孩子重担的女人们也在呼唤"私人空间"。然而,代父亲(小于40岁)更多地照看孩子,反而更不会引起夫妻不和。
Solve it: Successful couples are both team-mates and individuals, so don't feel criticised if your partner needs space. Negotiate how often you each need time alone, and for how long, so there is a balance between 'me' time and 'us' time.解决方法:的夫妻既是队友两个独立的个体。你的另一半需要空间,不要前去责难对方。一起商量一下彼此独处的频率和,在私人空间和二人世界之间平衡。

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